12 Elul 5785/September 5, 2025

On Fridays, we email two Elul Thoughts, out of respect for those of us who choose not to be online on Shabbat. We wish you a blessed and restful Shabbat and hope you continue finding inspiration in our Elul Thoughts.

Rabbi Eric Linder

It was a horse!

It was a mule!

Toward the beginning of Fiddler on the Roof, Tevye overhears this argument between two of his neighbors, and this scene is meant to introduce the Jewish way of conversation and argument.

And the truth is, I think that we treat most arguments like this, in the sense that I am right and you are wrong.

But most arguments are not so clear cut, and it would behoove us to realize that our debates and disagreements aren’t a sum-zero-game for one to win and another to lose. 

In our society today, we find it so hard to listen to others because they we think that they are “wrong” and that if they were “right,” it would make us “wrong.” 

I challenge all of us to instead look at our arguments and disagreements as a way to listen and learn, as opposed to a way to win or lose.